The pregnancy

‘I was diagnosed officially with gestational diabetes’

Realising something was wrong

‘I hadn't really felt the baby move at all’

Being told your baby has died

‘Nothing was said’

The time before giving birth

‘We would need to wait until the baby was ready to be born’

The birth

‘The student midwife cried’

Spending time with your baby

‘Martin read him a story’

Being back at home

‘I just didn't want to be on my own’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘If we can get any answers from it then that will help us in the future’

The funeral

‘I’d compiled a sound file – I didn’t want to speak there and then’

Relating to family and friends

‘You realise who’s there for you and who’s not’


‘The word grief shouldn't have a past tense’

Remembering your baby

‘Memories of him is a positive thing’

Pregnancy after loss

‘I suppose I relaxed a little bit more’

Insights and advice

‘It never goes away‘

First experiences

‘I was still not that proficient in using ultrasound’

Facilities available to families

‘I don't hesitate to give them an extra appointment’

Clinical care

‘I would always encourage a normal delivery’


‘Learning on the job is the best way’

Talking to and supporting families

‘People want to cure you’

Support for clinicians

‘People need support and debriefing’

Partners and extended family

‘It’s awful for fathers’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘Sometimes women go I don’t want him touched’

Showing emotion

‘Some families touch you more than others’

Insights and advice

‘People get out of bed in the morning – that’s a miracle’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Some people want lots of scans’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘Are they struggling emotionally to deal with the pregnancy?’