The pregnancy

‘We genuinely thought, he’s just small. People have small babies’

Realising something was wrong

‘It’s not going to work out, basically’

Being told your baby has died

‘Nothing was said’

The time before giving birth

‘She told us to take lots of pictures’

The birth

‘It was a mixture of so much love and pride’

Spending time with your baby

‘The pictures I got from the hospital were absolutely lovely’

Being back at home

‘I wanted my husband to be with me all the time.’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘Every post-mortem is research’

The funeral

‘It was hard making all these decisions’

Relating to family and friends

‘People were telling me to move on and have another baby’


‘I feel like I pushed him away’

Remembering your baby

‘Couldn’t imagine that she was down there’

Pregnancy after loss

‘Every time I went they gave me a hug.’

Insights and advice

‘Just acknowledging that it can happen’

First experiences

‘I was still not that proficient in using ultrasound’

Facilities available to families

‘A specialist midwife is really important’

Clinical care

‘Clinically the tasks can be done with no emotion’


‘We visited a crematorium’

Talking to and supporting families

‘Sometimes I give women hugs’

Support for clinicians

‘If we care for our staff they will give compassionate care’

Partners and extended family

‘I do think we tend to forget the dads’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘We are happy with whatever level of investigation a parent wants’

Showing emotion

‘You have to compartmentalise’

Insights and advice

‘There’s no one’s fault involved’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘I always ask if they've named the baby’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘Everybody wants to give really good care to these families’