The pregnancy

‘Baby was measuring really small’

Realising something was wrong

‘She goes: ‘Oh, where’s the heartbeat?’

Being told your baby has died

They were obviously looking for his heartbeat’

The time before giving birth

‘It was a very unpleasant period of waiting’

The birth

‘My mum was there which was very helpful ’

Spending time with your baby

‘That was the last time we're going to be a family’

Being back at home

‘I’m sorry that I couldn't bring our son home’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘Ultimately it was an inconclusive thing’

The funeral

‘It was the first time we'd ever set foot in a graveyard.’

Relating to family and friends

‘It wasn't to do with my friends, it was me (I wanted to be on my own)’


‘I tend to not talk about it’

Remembering your baby

‘Now I feel like I want to do something’

Pregnancy after loss

‘Just thinking a lot about Mohammed’

Insights and advice

‘This is when a network is critical’

First experiences

‘I’ll never forget just tucking them all into bed’

Facilities available to families

‘We cut a little locket of their hair’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’


‘We visited a crematorium’

Talking to and supporting families

‘Sometimes I give women hugs’

Support for clinicians

‘People need support and debriefing’

Partners and extended family

‘I make sure they know the support is for the family’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘They need to explicitly know what we’re doing’

Showing emotion

‘It’s important to weigh your emotional response’

Insights and advice

‘Sands do bereavement training days for students’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘I like my ladies to wait’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘We’re supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen’