The pregnancy

‘Maybe I should have stayed in’

Realising something was wrong

‘She goes: ‘Oh, where’s the heartbeat?’

Being told your baby has died

‘I just wonder if I already knew’

The time before giving birth

‘No one tells you what you need for a dead baby’

The birth

‘The student midwife cried’

Spending time with your baby

‘I just couldn’t bring myself to hold her’

Being back at home

‘I just didn't want to be on my own’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘Every post-mortem is research’

The funeral

‘It was men only which was quite nice.’

Relating to family and friends

‘I found out who my true friends were and weren’t’


‘To speak to people going through the same thing helped me tremendously’

Remembering your baby

‘I just hope he saw his balloons’

Pregnancy after loss

‘Clinic appointments for me were about trying to keep Aimee relaxed’

Insights and advice

‘Think really about what is best for you’

First experiences

‘I was still not that proficient in using ultrasound’

Facilities available to families

‘It’s very important to get the level of memory making right for parents’

Clinical care

‘I would always encourage a normal delivery’


‘Once you’ve said it you can’t take it back’

Talking to and supporting families

‘I named the child’

Support for clinicians

‘There still probably isn’t as much holistic care for our self’

Partners and extended family

‘I do think we tend to forget the dads’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘It must be done early because after that a woman closes down’

Showing emotion

‘Some families touch you more than others’

Insights and advice

‘I would like to be more connected with the bereavement team’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘I like my ladies to wait’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘Are they struggling emotionally to deal with the pregnancy?’