The pregnancy

‘If I'm honest I was a bit laid back’

Realising something was wrong

‘My waters broke and they were coloured’

Being told your baby has died

‘That’s the only scan I’ve ever had’

The time before giving birth

‘I felt like I didn't want to touch my bump’

The birth

‘My mum was there which was very helpful ’

Spending time with your baby

‘The pictures I got from the hospital were absolutely lovely’

Being back at home

‘I just didn't want to be on my own’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘Every post-mortem is research’

The funeral

‘It was hard making all these decisions’

Relating to family and friends

‘We had to be comfortable without Leo’


We’re very open with each other’

Remembering your baby

‘People think you’ve just lost a pregnancy’

Pregnancy after loss

‘Every time I went they gave me a hug.’

Insights and advice

‘It never goes away‘

First experiences

‘I didn’t get a chance to process my feelings until I was off call’

Facilities available to families

‘You don’t want to feel like you’re being hidden away’

Clinical care

‘Clinically the tasks can be done with no emotion’


‘I don’t think we were taught to manage women who suffered it’

Talking to and supporting families

‘Occasionally the grandparents want something but the parents don’t’

Support for clinicians

‘If we care for our staff they will give compassionate care’

Partners and extended family

‘I make sure they know the support is for the family’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘You don’t want to create a false sense of hope’

Showing emotion

‘They don’t need me to be dabbing tears away’

Insights and advice

‘There’s no one’s fault involved’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Studies are based on averages and people are not averages’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘Everybody wants to give really good care to these families’