The pregnancy

‘We had no worries or past history’

Realising something was wrong

‘I think I knew that he’d probably died’

Being told your baby has died

‘That’s the only scan I’ve ever had’

The time before giving birth

‘I kept on thinking once the baby is born we'll see’

The birth

‘It was a mixture of so much love and pride’

Spending time with your baby

‘Letting go means I’ll never see him again’

Being back at home

‘I wanted my husband to be with me all the time.’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘It’s something that Guy could do for his future brother or sister’

The funeral

‘I got the courage to hold her’

Relating to family and friends

‘It started bringing things up for everyone ’


‘You can’t resent that they’re not getting over it’

Remembering your baby

‘I feel like he’s acquired his own personality’

Pregnancy after loss

‘I feel on the surface of everything at the moment’

Insights and advice

‘I made sure my missus was fine’

First experiences

‘We all cried in the room’

Facilities available to families

‘It’s very important to get the level of memory making right for parents’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’


‘I can remember being taught almost nothing about stillbirth’

Talking to and supporting families

‘It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is’

Support for clinicians

‘There still probably isn’t as much holistic care for our self’

Partners and extended family

‘I make sure they know the support is for the family’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘It must be done early because after that a woman closes down’

Showing emotion

‘It’s different if it’s someone you’ve formed a relationship with’

Insights and advice

‘There’s no one’s fault involved’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Some people want lots of scans’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘It’s a bit like a dirty secret people don’t want to acknowledge’