The pregnancy

‘There were very few checks during pregnancy’

Realising something was wrong

‘I wasn’t there when the baby was born’

Being told your baby has died

‘They've given us the wrong scan’

The time before giving birth

‘I just felt guilty and shocked’

The birth

‘She just looks like any other baby that was born’

Spending time with your baby

‘In a way I felt like he was living’

Being back at home

‘I had to face everything, pack everything away’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘We agreed for something called a visual post-mortem’

The funeral

‘It was the first time we'd ever set foot in a graveyard.’

Relating to family and friends

‘It wasn't to do with my friends, it was me (I wanted to be on my own)’

Grieving

‘Me and Shazia have always worked as a team’

Remembering your baby

‘I went there and sang Happy Birthday to her’

Pregnancy after loss

‘I pretended I was fine but I wasn’t’

Insights and advice

‘To hold the baby, to focus on him, to grieve over him’

First experiences

‘We all cried in the room’

Facilities available to families

‘A specialist midwife is really important’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’

Training

‘Sometimes you see and you learn what not to do’

Talking to and supporting families

‘It’s such a deep grief’

Support for clinicians

‘People need support and debriefing’

Partners and extended family

‘Sometimes they feel they’ve failed too’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘It must be done early because after that a woman closes down’

Showing emotion

‘Over time it will become easier to cope with emotionally’

Insights and advice

‘I would like to be more connected with the bereavement team’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Studies are based on averages and people are not averages’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘We often times getting it wrong’