The pregnancy

‘Even till this day the pregnancy was brilliant’

Realising something was wrong

‘She goes: ‘Oh, where’s the heartbeat?’

Being told your baby has died

‘She was all nonchalant, it was just not a big deal’

The time before giving birth

‘I kept on thinking once the baby is born we'll see’

The birth

‘I had a glance of his back view and then he was gone’

Spending time with your baby

‘Martin read him a story’

Being back at home

‘You feel inferior’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘If we can get any answers from it then that will help us in the future’

The funeral

‘I just couldn’t visualise it’

Relating to family and friends

‘They don't know what happens to the couple afterwards’


‘Your patience is zero, your tolerance is zero, so it does make it hard’

Remembering your baby

‘I don’t feel like I need to scatter them’

Pregnancy after loss

‘We’d lost another baby’

Insights and advice

‘To hold the baby, to focus on him, to grieve over him’

First experiences

‘I didn’t get a chance to process my feelings until I was off call’

Facilities available to families

‘You don’t want to feel like you’re being hidden away’

Clinical care

‘We need to listen to women more’


‘The training that we get is not particularly helpful’

Talking to and supporting families

‘Occasionally the grandparents want something but the parents don’t’

Support for clinicians

‘We do talk about it’

Partners and extended family

‘We're there for the whole family’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘You don’t want to create a false sense of hope’

Showing emotion

‘It’s important to weigh your emotional response’

Insights and advice

‘There’s no one’s fault involved’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘You’ve lost the statistics game once before’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘We often times getting it wrong’