The pregnancy

‘Everything was new, it was all exciting’

Realising something was wrong

‘I went along and said I was worried’

Being told your baby has died

‘I just wonder if I already knew’

The time before giving birth

‘She told us to take lots of pictures’

The birth

‘I still remember the sensation of him coming out’

Spending time with your baby

‘That was the last time we're going to be a family’

Being back at home

‘I wanted my husband to be with me all the time.’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘If we can get any answers from it then that will help us in the future’

The funeral

‘I didn’t want anyone else touching him bar me’

Relating to family and friends

‘They'd all been part of the whole journey.


‘I wanted a new normal’

Remembering your baby

‘She will a hundred percent know about him’

Pregnancy after loss

‘We wanted to replace her’

Insights and advice

‘Keep an account’

First experiences

‘I didn’t get a chance to process my feelings until I was off call’

Facilities available to families

‘It’s very important to get the level of memory making right for parents’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’


‘Sometimes you see and you learn what not to do’

Talking to and supporting families

‘Sometimes I give women hugs’

Support for clinicians

‘If we care for our staff they will give compassionate care’

Partners and extended family

‘Men are not given space to grieve’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘It must be done early because after that a woman closes down’

Showing emotion

‘You have to compartmentalise’

Insights and advice

‘Sands do bereavement training days for students’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Some people want lots of scans’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘You couldn’t do the job if you didn’t care’