Themes
The pregnancy
‘It was very textbook’
Realising something was wrong
‘I posted a topic saying my baby’s not moved today can anyone relate?’
Being told your baby has died
‘That sort of gives you a glimmer of hope’
The time before giving birth
‘That’s what she’s gonna wear when we deliver her and can’t take her home’
The birth
‘It was a mixture of so much love and pride’
Spending time with your baby
‘It should just be the three of us’
Being back at home
‘You feel inferior’
Deciding about a postmortem
‘We agreed for something called a visual post-mortem’
The funeral
‘It was hard making all these decisions’
Relating to family and friends
‘We don't want to talk to anybody’
Grieving
‘I miss her’
Remembering your baby
‘Any function or festival we will do something to remember him ’
Pregnancy after loss
‘I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy at all’
Insights and advice
‘Keep an account’
First experiences
‘I’ll never forget just tucking them all into bed’
Facilities available to families
‘You don’t want to feel like you’re being hidden away’
Clinical care
‘We need to listen to women more’
Training
‘Learning on the job is the best way’
Talking to and supporting families
‘The hardest part is the first conversation’
Support for clinicians
‘If we care for our staff they will give compassionate care’
Partners and extended family
‘I do think we tend to forget the dads’
Post-mortems/further investigations
‘We are happy with whatever level of investigation a parent wants’
Showing emotion
‘They don’t need me to be dabbing tears away’
Insights and advice
‘How different cultures deal with death’
Subsequent pregnancies
‘The next pregnancy is fraught with worries and risks and concerns’
Attitudes towards stillbirth
‘It’s a bit like a dirty secret people don’t want to acknowledge’