The pregnancy

‘I was diagnosed officially with gestational diabetes’

Realising something was wrong

‘I had a funny feeling’

Being told your baby has died

‘I just thought there's just something wrong with the equipment’

The time before giving birth

‘I kept on thinking once the baby is born we'll see’

The birth

‘It was a mixture of so much love and pride’

Spending time with your baby

‘Martin read him a story’

Being back at home

‘I had to face everything, pack everything away’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘It just didn’t make sense what happened’

The funeral

‘That was extremely difficult actually seeing his coffin’

Relating to family and friends

‘They didn’t realise what we’d gone through ’


‘Your patience is zero, your tolerance is zero, so it does make it hard’

Remembering your baby

‘Couldn’t imagine that she was down there’

Pregnancy after loss

‘I pretended I was fine but I wasn’t’

Insights and advice

‘Talk to people in the same situation’

First experiences

‘I’ll never forget just tucking them all into bed’

Facilities available to families

‘You don’t want to feel like you’re being hidden away’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’


‘I can remember being taught almost nothing about stillbirth’

Talking to and supporting families

‘It’s such a deep grief’

Support for clinicians

‘The support is very informal’

Partners and extended family

‘Men are not given space to grieve’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘We are happy with whatever level of investigation a parent wants’

Showing emotion

‘Some families touch you more than others’

Insights and advice

‘There’s no one’s fault involved’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘When’s the right time and not the right time’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘We’re supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen’