The pregnancy

‘There were very few checks during pregnancy’

Realising something was wrong

‘He wasn’t moving and that was because he was poorly’

Being told your baby has died

‘That sort of gives you a glimmer of hope’

The time before giving birth

‘For a few hours we actually forgot what was happening to us’

The birth

‘They put Alexis in a bucket’

Spending time with your baby

‘They just left me’

Being back at home

‘Time was slow… the days were so long’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘We need to find out the reason’

The funeral

‘I’d compiled a sound file – I didn’t want to speak there and then’

Relating to family and friends

‘We had to be comfortable without Leo’


‘You can’t resent that they’re not getting over it’

Remembering your baby

‘I don’t feel like I need to scatter them’

Pregnancy after loss

‘I feel on the surface of everything at the moment’

Insights and advice

‘I just talked and someone listened to me‘

First experiences

‘I’ll never forget just tucking them all into bed’

Facilities available to families

‘We don’t have a dedicated bereavement suite’

Clinical care

‘We need to listen to women more’


‘We visited a crematorium’

Talking to and supporting families

‘People want to cure you’

Support for clinicians

‘People need support and debriefing’

Partners and extended family

‘I do think we tend to forget the dads’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘They need to explicitly know what we’re doing’

Showing emotion

‘Some families touch you more than others’

Insights and advice

‘Sands do bereavement training days for students’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘You’ve lost the statistics game once before’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘You couldn’t do the job if you didn’t care’