The pregnancy

‘There were very few checks during pregnancy’

Realising something was wrong

‘We’d never looked into the bad side of things’

Being told your baby has died

‘I just wonder if I already knew’

The time before giving birth

‘I wanted to disappear’

The birth

‘It was very quick and blurred because of the pain’

Spending time with your baby

‘I just couldn’t bring myself to hold her’

Being back at home

‘You feel inferior’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘I don’t want the baby to be cut open’

The funeral

‘It was the first time we'd ever set foot in a graveyard.’

Relating to family and friends

‘I just physically couldn’t even speak to get the words out to tell people’

Grieving

‘I felt I was suffocating’

Remembering your baby

‘Anything up in the sky is pretty much linked with Petal’

Pregnancy after loss

‘There was no chance for me’

Insights and advice

‘I just talked and someone listened to me‘

First experiences

‘I was still not that proficient in using ultrasound’

Facilities available to families

‘We don’t have a dedicated bereavement suite’

Clinical care

‘We need to listen to women more’

Training

‘The training that we get is not particularly helpful’

Talking to and supporting families

‘It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is’

Support for clinicians

‘There still probably isn’t as much holistic care for our self’

Partners and extended family

‘Sometimes they feel they’ve failed too’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘Sometimes women go I don’t want him touched’

Showing emotion

‘Over time it will become easier to cope with emotionally’

Insights and advice

‘People get out of bed in the morning – that’s a miracle’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘I always ask if they've named the baby’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘We often times getting it wrong’