The pregnancy

‘I was poorly when I was pregnant with Petal’

Realising something was wrong

‘I wasn’t there when the baby was born’

Being told your baby has died

‘Nothing was said’

The time before giving birth

‘I kept on thinking once the baby is born we'll see’

The birth

‘I had to bear the pain to say that he was here ’

Spending time with your baby

‘It was our first experience of a family’

Being back at home

‘I went into terrible depression’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘We felt that a post-mortem would help us’

The funeral

‘That’s not a day I ever want to do again’

Relating to family and friends

‘The issue didn’t really arise’


‘Don’t dwell on it’

Remembering your baby

‘People think you’ve just lost a pregnancy’

Pregnancy after loss

‘There was no chance for me’

Insights and advice

‘Think really about what is best for you’

First experiences

‘I’d like to look after a woman in labour having a stillbirth’

Facilities available to families

‘We cut a little locket of their hair’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’


‘Once you’ve said it you can’t take it back’

Talking to and supporting families

‘Occasionally the grandparents want something but the parents don’t’

Support for clinicians

‘We do talk about it’

Partners and extended family

‘I do think we tend to forget the dads’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘You don’t want to create a false sense of hope’

Showing emotion

‘Over time it will become easier to cope with emotionally’

Insights and advice

‘Sands do bereavement training days for students’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Some people want lots of scans’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘We often times getting it wrong’