The pregnancy

‘Everything was new, it was all exciting’

Realising something was wrong

‘We realised that was Shazia’s heartbeat not the baby’s.’

Being told your baby has died

‘That’s the only scan I’ve ever had’

The time before giving birth

‘I thought surely they can induce me’

The birth

‘My mum was there which was very helpful ’

Spending time with your baby

‘You can keep him in the room overnight’

Being back at home

‘I’m here to get an outfit for my son who’s died’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘It’s something that Guy could do for his future brother or sister’

The funeral

‘That’s not a day I ever want to do again’

Relating to family and friends

‘They didn’t realise what we’d gone through ’


‘The word grief shouldn't have a past tense’

Remembering your baby

‘It was a part of putting it behind us’

Pregnancy after loss

‘I pretended I was fine but I wasn’t’

Insights and advice

‘Reassure them what has happened is not their fault’

First experiences

‘I didn’t get a chance to process my feelings until I was off call’

Facilities available to families

‘I don't hesitate to give them an extra appointment’

Clinical care

‘We don’t always get it right’


‘I’d be doing something in Scarlett’s name’

Talking to and supporting families

‘It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is’

Support for clinicians

‘We do talk about it’

Partners and extended family

‘It’s awful for fathers’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘It must be done early because after that a woman closes down’

Showing emotion

‘Some families touch you more than others’

Insights and advice

‘People get out of bed in the morning – that’s a miracle’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘You’ve lost the statistics game once before’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘You worry about scaring people by talking about it’