The pregnancy

‘The afterbirth was over the neck of the womb’

Realising something was wrong

‘I think I knew that he’d probably died’

Being told your baby has died

‘You're just completely blank’

The time before giving birth

‘This lady knows what we’re coming in for, why are we waiting so long?’

The birth

‘My mum was there which was very helpful ’

Spending time with your baby

‘They just left me’

Being back at home

‘I just didn't want to be on my own’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘I don’t want the baby to be cut open’

The funeral

‘I’d compiled a sound file – I didn’t want to speak there and then’

Relating to family and friends

‘We had to be comfortable without Leo’


‘We haven’t done anything with the ashes yet’

Remembering your baby

‘She will a hundred percent know about him’

Pregnancy after loss

‘It spoils you for life’

Insights and advice

‘Since we’ve had Daisy everything’s become more stable again’

First experiences

‘We all cried in the room’

Facilities available to families

‘A specialist midwife is really important’

Clinical care

‘We need to listen to women more’


‘I don’t think we were taught to manage women who suffered it’

Talking to and supporting families

‘I named the child’

Support for clinicians

‘People need support and debriefing’

Partners and extended family

‘I make sure they know the support is for the family’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘It must be done early because after that a woman closes down’

Showing emotion

‘Over time it will become easier to cope with emotionally’

Insights and advice

‘There’s no one’s fault involved’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘Some people want lots of scans’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘Everybody wants to give really good care to these families’