The pregnancy

‘The afterbirth was over the neck of the womb’

Realising something was wrong

‘That was the first day that everything switched’

Being told your baby has died

‘She was all nonchalant, it was just not a big deal’

The time before giving birth

‘For a few hours we actually forgot what was happening to us’

The birth

‘It was very quick and blurred because of the pain’

Spending time with your baby

‘In a way I felt like he was living’

Being back at home

‘I want my old life back’

Deciding about a postmortem

‘I didn't want him to find a fault in her’

The funeral

‘It was a nice memory’

Relating to family and friends

‘We don't want to talk to anybody’


‘Your patience is zero, your tolerance is zero, so it does make it hard’

Remembering your baby

‘I feel like he’s acquired his own personality’

Pregnancy after loss

‘When he was born he didn't cry’

Insights and advice

‘Talk to people in the same situation’

First experiences

‘I didn’t get a chance to process my feelings until I was off call’

Facilities available to families

‘A specialist midwife is really important’

Clinical care

‘I would always encourage a normal delivery’


‘I’d be doing something in Scarlett’s name’

Talking to and supporting families

‘People want to cure you’

Support for clinicians

‘The support is very informal’

Partners and extended family

‘We're there for the whole family’

Post-mortems/further investigations

‘They need to explicitly know what we’re doing’

Showing emotion

‘It’s different if it’s someone you’ve formed a relationship with’

Insights and advice

‘How different cultures deal with death’

Subsequent pregnancies

‘We don’t do anything differently until they hit 12 weeks’

Attitudes towards stillbirth

‘It’s a bit like a dirty secret people don’t want to acknowledge’