Themes
The pregnancy
‘She read so much about pregnancy’
Realising something was wrong
‘I wasn’t there when the baby was born’
Being told your baby has died
‘That sort of gives you a glimmer of hope’
The time before giving birth
‘She told us to take lots of pictures’
The birth
‘My mum was there which was very helpful ’
Spending time with your baby
‘They just left me’
Being back at home
‘I’m here to get an outfit for my son who’s died’
Deciding about a postmortem
‘We needed to make sense of it’
The funeral
‘I just couldn’t visualise it’
Relating to family and friends
‘I felt like I wasn't allowed to be devastated’
Grieving
‘My mind always went to our little chap’
Remembering your baby
‘Wherever we go he’ll come with us’
Pregnancy after loss
‘I pretended I was fine but I wasn’t’
Insights and advice
‘This is when a network is critical’
First experiences
‘I’d like to look after a woman in labour having a stillbirth’
Facilities available to families
‘A specialist midwife is really important’
Clinical care
‘Clinically the tasks can be done with no emotion’
Training
‘I don’t think we were taught to manage women who suffered it’
Talking to and supporting families
‘Most of my women are not White British’
Support for clinicians
‘Reflection is very helpful’
Partners and extended family
‘Men are not given space to grieve’
Post-mortems/further investigations
‘Sometimes women go I don’t want him touched’
Showing emotion
‘Some families touch you more than others’
Insights and advice
‘Sands do bereavement training days for students’
Subsequent pregnancies
‘The next pregnancy is fraught with worries and risks and concerns’
Attitudes towards stillbirth
‘We often times getting it wrong’