Themes
The pregnancy
‘The baby wasn’t as active as Claire had been’
Realising something was wrong
‘I had a funny feeling’
Being told your baby has died
‘What does that actually mean?’
The time before giving birth
‘You feel like the woman’s going through it 10 times worse’
The birth
‘My mum was there which was very helpful ’
Spending time with your baby
‘You can keep him in the room overnight’
Being back at home
‘I had to face everything, pack everything away’
Deciding about a postmortem
‘We needed to make sense of it’
The funeral
‘I didn’t want anyone else touching him bar me’
Relating to family and friends
‘It wasn't to do with my friends, it was me (I wanted to be on my own)’
Grieving
‘What would she be like now?’
Remembering your baby
‘Anything up in the sky is pretty much linked with Petal’
Pregnancy after loss
‘Every time I went they gave me a hug.’
Insights and advice
‘Nobody checked on my mental state’
First experiences
‘I was still not that proficient in using ultrasound’
Facilities available to families
‘We cut a little locket of their hair’
Clinical care
‘We don’t always get it right’
Training
‘I don’t think we were taught to manage women who suffered it’
Talking to and supporting families
‘It’s hard to know what the right thing to do is’
Support for clinicians
‘People need support and debriefing’
Partners and extended family
‘Sometimes they feel they’ve failed too’
Post-mortems/further investigations
‘We are happy with whatever level of investigation a parent wants’
Showing emotion
‘It’s different if it’s someone you’ve formed a relationship with’
Insights and advice
‘Imagine this is every birthday party you would ever have done’
Subsequent pregnancies
‘Studies are based on averages and people are not averages’
Attitudes towards stillbirth
‘We often times getting it wrong’